Time Under Tension: The Secret to Growing Up and Growing Strong

Dr. David Fraze: It's called growing pains and I don't really remember when I had my growing pains but supposedly
it happened between like my fifth and sixth grade year and it just hurts. I was this big in eighth
grade and it just I grew in a hurry and so you have pain actually when you grow up. Some of you
I've seen enough of you that you know you start out in high school or middle school you were this
big and the next time I see you grow like a foot, that's happened before too, your body's going to
be sore. But if you don't go through that, you don't grow. The same thing happens when you try
college algebra. I'm here to tell you that I have a doctorate, but I'm very proud of the 0.70,
the 70 I got in college algebra at LCU. Thank you very much.
I just didn't want to grow anymore. I took up to analytic geometry in high school, like vectors and
all that kind of fun stuff. And I got here and I'm like, I'm not interested anymore. And if you don't
use it, you'll lose it. And don't even ask me about fractions. But if I want to learn, it's going to
take some growing pain. Last Friday night, I got to go and watch an old football team I used to
coach, the Richland Royals play at Texas Tech, and they have a running back that Tech wants.
So I'm sitting over there next to the Tech coaches, and this kid, we're just standing
there like that going, oh my word, oh, wow, you need to pick him up, coach.
Oh, yeah, dude, he scored eight touchdowns.
Four of them, he didn't even run.
I mean, it's just like, look, I'm a hot knife through butter.
It was a beautiful thing.
But towards the end of the game, it's what I call the loser's limp.
Because you know what's going to happen.
This guy goes through the line, and there's a linebacker that's like,
hey, I'll give it a shot.
And he hits, and he's on the ground.
All of a sudden, he gets up, and he's like, oh, my word.
He wasn't hurt.
We call it the loser's limp.
Because in our world today, it seems like if you fail,
you have to have an excuse for your failure.
Watch baseball players.
They're fun.
they miss a ball they're like this will be the holy bible will be my glove
they miss it and the first thing they do start going
so i'm drawing a hole in my glove right here look at that it says holy bible it's a whole bible
right here couldn't catch it we look for that or something's too hard and we're like going my teacher
my professor they didn't help me well you didn't show up for the review you didn't do the review
but somehow it has to be someone else's fault i call it the loser's limp and we all have a
tendency to do it but the fact of the matter is if we don't go through growing pains we don't grow
it's called time under tension for all my ess folks your mind wants to do it your body's ready
to do it, but the only way that you can actually succeed in life, whether it is emotional, if it's
physical, or if it's spiritual, is time under tension. The thing that matters most to you has
to come with the cost. Shake your head if you know what I'm saying. If it was easy, you wouldn't be
in college. If it's easy, everybody could do it. But you have something that you can do in life that
the world needs from you, and the only way it's going to be its best is time under tension.
So there's too many conversations I've had with my kids, and one of my kids is in the audience,
so I'm not going to talk about that. But for you parents in the crowd, if you've never made your
kids cry, you're not a good parent. Okay, so here's what happens. There was a young man
that came from a rough background. I know some of you do. He didn't even know how to tie his shoes.
He was a big kid. When he came on our team freshman year, his dad was killed in a drug bust.
It was during COVID. We couldn't get to him. He came back. He was an angry young man,
but he kept growing, buying into what we were doing. He's angry at everything that he did,
and he had a reason to be angry. And we should have said, oh, poor person. But instead,
we pushed in and said, okay, I'm sorry what happened, but in order for you to go to the
next level. You need to learn how to do hard better. And he bought into it. And I still remember the
game. Some of the things that you learn from your parents, you never had a parent tell him this.
He had the loser limp. He got ran over on a play. We needed to win this game in order to share the
district championship. And here he comes, he's hobbling off. And I stopped him and I grabbed him
and I just whispered to him. I said, you realize those coaches just watched you hobble off this
field. He goes, yes, sir. And then I looked at him and asked him that question. I said, are you hurt
or are you hurting? Never thought about that. He goes, I'm hurting. Okay. Then you're going to have
to stand tall because when you go back out there, they're going to run right at you. And guess what
they did? They ran right at him and he stopped it. And he was the big reason that everything began
to change. And we got a victory in that game because he learned how to do hard better. He had
to learn that in the classroom. The middle school coaches are like, you're going to have to watch him.
He's not going to be eligible. He became eligible. And now he's playing D2 football
where this guy named Bart Riles just got a job down the street. Art Riles.
Because he learned how to do hard better. Spiritually, it's the same thing. And only
if I had some way of illustrating that to you. Where's Fisher? Come on over. Who helped you?
No, no, no.
Oh, that's the wrong fisher.
Where's the student fisher?
Right here.
Hey, you're still the right fisher for me.
Who helped you the other time we had an incident?
You'll know.
Come on.
Y'all two come up.
Only if I had a way to illustrate time under tension.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a cheap imitation.
This is Stretch Armstrong.
wrong. Don't. That's what I'm saying. I'm looking at y'all too. Y'all are... He's the quiet one,
but he's mischievous. Here, take... Let's... Here, no. You grab the legs. Okay. What are y'all doing?
Have you never played with a toy before? Thanks. Okay. Go back. Stay right there for a second.
Look at the audience.
Chilt him.
That's why old toys are better than new.
Now, if that breaks, it's probably going to give everyone in here some kind of toxic something.
Now, rejoice in the Lord always.
This is from Philippians 4.
Again, I say rejoice.
Not, woohoo, I'm being stretched.
The core word there is grace.
It's not a feeling.
It's a commitment.
Paul's in jail, and he's like, you know what?
Have joy.
like that's ridiculous well here's how he says how to do it let your gentleness be evident at all
the lord is near it's going to be over in a second he's saying but do not be anxious about anything
in every situation by prayer petition with thanksgiving present your request to god let
him know how you feel god this hurts i am not designed to do this look at it look at it
Look how intense he looks. Do you see that? That's time under tension right there.
I'll go all day. No, you can't.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts
and your minds in Christ Jesus. First step of surviving time under tension is you give your
anxiety over to God. And then this peace comes over. You're like going, I'm not going to quit.
I'm not going to quit, but I need you to know. Now look what happens. Watch this. Let go.
That's a stretch Armstrong. His pants are a little looser and being inappropriate,
but right now, you see that? Give them a hand. Thank you very much.
The original. So let me tell you how it works.
God's designed that your mind and body work together.
And if you look at individuals, whether they're in the worst situation,
maybe you come from a family like mine that my mom and dad both died around Thanksgiving.
It's like, you may not even want to be in here with me because it's like,
every relative's like, I think I'm going to die on Thanksgiving.
Remember me.
I mean, that's what happened.
But we have joy and we're going to celebrate and we're going to enjoy our meals together.
How does that happen?
because somehow we learned from our mom and dad and from other individuals,
your mindset controls your current situation.
And here's what Paul says.
Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, what's pure, what's lovely,
whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy,
think about these things and even says, man, look at me and what I've been going through.
Just put into practice things that you've seen.
And the God of peace will be with you.
There's something about that.
But he goes on and he says this.
I know what it's like to be in need.
I know what it's like to have plenty.
I have learned the secret of being content.
Okay, now everybody's saying, all right, here we go.
I know the secret of being content.
Tell me what that is because I'm so anxious right now.
I've learned the secret in every situation,
whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
In other words, I understand time under tension and how I'll survive it.
Here it is.
I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
Jesus is not going to remove all the pain from your life because we live in a fallen world.
That's not the promise of following him.
The promise is he's right there and he will put you back together again.
Either in this life or the life to come.
Amen.
And the world can't offer you that.
So what do I do right now? You're coming home from Thanksgiving, and some of y'all are going
home to bad situations. I've talked to you, and it breaks my heart. Instead of having one dinner,
you're going to have two. Some of you are going back to sickness and loss. There's going to be
empty chairs at your table, and you're going to remember that. There's going to be sickness and
disease that you face, and you're going to look across the table and think, is this the last
Thanksgiving I'm going to have. Guess what? If that's the tension you're under, how do you survive
it? It's your mindset. Whatever is pure, what is loverly, whatever is praiseworthy and excellent,
think about those things. So it brings me to the tree. I love Christmas trees.
And when my kids were young, even before they knew how to speak, I've been looking forward to do this
forever. The first time we had a kid just months old, I would get underneath the Christmas tree
and they would sit right next to me and they can't even speak, but their eyes are kind of
lighting up at the glow. And I'm like, what's your favorite ornament? What's your favorite,
you know, you know, color of the lights. And Lisa would look at me and say,
they can't speak. I'm like, oh, they'll remember.
So even now that they're old and it takes a lot of effort to get underneath the tree,
I will make someone get underneath that tree with me.
But now all the ornaments mean something because it takes us back to,
remember that picture we took of you when you were three and now you're 25.
This one over here is when you're just one years old and now you're 21.
And we start recalling all of the excellent, worthy, praiseworthy, wonderful things.
And all of a sudden joy begins to kindle itself even in the midst of challenge.
Time under tension is the way to growth.
But growth has survived through thinking about such things.
And so my granddaughter last year, before they went home, and I have a picture of it,
we got under the tree and little sweet Libby and I just sat there and looked.
And now we got a month-year-old, month-old.
Now I have two grandbabies underneath there.
And I will guarantee you what their dad will do with those two girls.
We'll get under the tree and say, where's your favorite color?
Where's your favorite ornament?
Guys, I'm sorry that this world is a hard place.
But I'm sorry, not sorry, because I'm looking at some of the greatest generation of young people ever.
Because you are going to learn how to be great in hard things.
You're going to learn time under tension.
You will learn what it means to grow and the process of growth.
And I'm looking at a bunch of young people that will not have a loser's limp when something bad happens.
But you'll get back up and you'll do it again.
And you'll do it again until that limp is gone.
Amen?
So here's my talents to you.
What I want you to do, and some of you already know, some of you, every club organization, student organization, band, sports, whatever,
we ask a special thing out of you because when we come back on the first, we want you to bring an ornament.
And we're going to put it on this tree every year, just those organizations.
And the student leaders will put those on the tree next Monday before chapel.
So if you have one of those ornaments, come early.
But I challenge you as you put your lights up to get underneath that tree and think about the good things in life,
even in the midst of the pain, and continue to push through and grow.
And if you don't have your lights up yet, take a walk and just start thinking,
God, I'm thankful for this and this and this and this.
And do you realize how God, this is kind of interesting,
God has put you together in such a way that gratefulness and anxiety can't live in the same space.
So if you're anxious, what are you grateful for?
And you'll notice that the anxiety will fade away.
Now before we all get up, here's what we're going to do.
I would like everyone that's here for Shat Day, stand up with me please.
Shat Day.
take your little rowdy rags and do that for me so we can see you there we go where's your rowdy rags
shake them around thank you don't be so excited all right just you here's what we're going to do
we're going to applaud you and you were going to watch nobody in the back I can see you we're
going to walk out there and you get the first run of coke and candy then everybody else we're going
to join them for some sugar. Okay, you ready? So nobody in the back leave. Let's give one more
round of applause. Y'all exit. Y'all, Shaft people. There we go, Shaft people. Give them a hand.
Be sure they get all the way out. Don't leave. Don't leave. Just the Shaft people.