The Wonder and Pain of Relationships

Jim Brewer: Relationships are painful. Relationships are wonderful. And most of us live our lives out
in the drama in the middle of those two extremes, the pain and the wonder, because relationships
are filled with both. When I think of the pain of relationships, pictures flood my mind.
A couple on the verge of divorce, neither wants, but both are choosing that. Parents
who can't get through to their child, no matter how much time or money or effort they spend,
it's heartache. And a son, maybe, whose dad has treated him with contempt. A friend whose
feeling of betrayal is so deep that they just never want to trust anybody again. On the
other side, when I consider the wonder of relationships, I'm equally overwhelmed when
I think of a marriage that no one thought would be restored, and yet it was. Friendships
that are created and nurtured in a small group that have become the bedrock of life for those
people. A family that would surely fall apart when the pressure of an illness hit, and yet
instead they all came together in the most amazing way. When Jesus came into the world,
he demonstrated that he understands both the wonder and the pain of relationships. He experienced
it himself. When he came into this world, he came to begin a new relationship with you,
a relationship that will strengthen all your other relationships. I enjoyed Rachel's testimony
yesterday when she expressed the fact that we are not enough except in Christ. And it's
Christ who teaches us that nothing is more important than relationships. I don't remember
when I first came across it, but the story is about a moderator asking a group to suppose
that they're in a rubber life raft with a friend. They're approaching an island. Land
is within sight, but the raft is leaking. Now in the raft are a set of signal flares,
two weeks worth of canned food, and a five-gallon container of water. To make it to the island,
you've got to throw one overboard. Which do you choose? The friend. The friend, of course.
It's silly, but it's a reminder of how quickly we navigate to see less value in people than
things. And all of us struggle with some of that in our lives at some time. Priorities
become more important when we have to make such choices. If we had time to do everything,
then everything could be priority, but we don't. You know that if you're in college.
Jesus couldn't have been clearer when he taught that relationships must be given the highest
of values. And thankfully, he also taught us how to do it. So as you hear this experience
from the life of Jesus, put yourself in the crowd that day. Long ago, one of the most
noticeable things about Jesus was his interactions with others, the questions that people would
ask him. Crowds would press in with questions. Disciples would pull him aside with questions.
And those who disagreed with Jesus would try to trap him with questions, which seemed like
wasting his time, and yet he patiently would listen and seek to answer. And on this day
that I'm talking about, the questions are coming fast and furious. One group would ask
a question about taxes. It's tax season after all. Another group would launch into a series
of questions about marriage. And Jesus's answers were all brilliant, and it seems right to
the heart of the matter. About time to move on. Somebody from the edge of the crowd, a
sk, "Of all the commandments, which is most important?" And in Jesus's answer to that
question, he gives us the most important statement about relationships that you'll ever hear.
The most important commandment is this, "Love the Lord your God with all of your heart,
with all of your soul, with all of your mind, with all of your strength." And the second
is like it, "Love your neighbor as yourself." It's a breathtaking answer. By choosing those
two commandments as the most important out of the 600 plus in the law, Jesus tells us
how deeply he values relationships. He values your relationship with God, and he values
your relationship with others. So the number one teaching of Jesus about relationships
is simply this, there is nothing more important in life than relationships. In the beginning,
God created you for relationship. He made you to relate to him and to others. And if
you miss out on relationships, you're missing the core reason you're on this planet. And
in the end, nothing is more important because nothing will last longer than relationships
with God and with others. Jesus knows full well that the swirling of wonder on the one
hand and pain on the other of our relationships tempt us to move them down on the priority
list. Who needs this? Who needs this? And just, you know, I'm just going to simplify
my life. I'm going to spend time with my hobbies, with these tasks, with this entertainment,
and let it be. But that's not the answer. When I try to make less important that which
is truly most important, it only causes more confusion in my life. A life without relationships
may well be simpler, but it's much, much emptier. The path to the greatest life possible, the
greatest joy possible is found in the priority that Jesus taught to keep at the top of the
list, but the highest value on relationships. So as you go through the balance of this day,
why don't you take a few moments and ask Jesus the question, "Am I doing what is most important?"
Father, you are wonderful. Thank you for loving us and pursuing us. And thank you for this
place and these people today. In Jesus we ask, amen. You're dismissed.
: (applause)