Choosing Christ: A Journey Through Pain to Redemption

Brieanna Carr: I wanna start this off by telling you all a story.
So in Matthew, a rich man asked Jesus
what he must do to have eternal life.
Jesus' answer is telling him, you must not murder,
you must not commit adultery, you must not steal,
you must not give false testimony,
honor your father and mother,
and you must love your neighbor as yourself.
But the man says he has done all these,
so Jesus instead tells him to sell what he owns
and give the money to those who need it,
for he will have treasure in heaven.
He turns away with a heavy heart.
Now, why do I tell you this?
Well, you'll see in a bit.
See, I'm here to tell you about my story,
my journey with Christ,
to show you all his love and his mercy.
When I was a kid, I was the youngest of four
in a household that would regularly go to church.
Despite this, my house suffered from sin
that caused much pain and suffering.
You see, my father was abusive,
so my mother, my siblings, and I,
we all lived in fear of him.
When things were fine, he was fine.
When things were bad, well, he was bad.
My father was a doctor who lacked the ability
to heal the wounds he caused,
to heal the wounds he himself had.
Growing up, I became familiar with walking on eggshells,
being sexually abused,
with hearing my brother's cries for mercy,
with watching my mother fall apart,
and with seeing the devastation of my home,
oh so carefully concealed with a bow.
Eventually, my parents divorced.
I gained a stepdad, but lost my brothers.
My sister got pregnant and ran away
before being found weeks later.
In all this, I was the youngest.
I looked up to my brothers, but they were gone.
I looked up to my sister,
but she had left, returning as a different person.
My mother was drowning in her grief,
and my stepdad, bless him,
did not have the capacity to understand
and help alleviate the sorrows of a nine-year-old.
He was a brand new father after all, so I had no one.
But I remembered something.
I remembered going to church as a child.
I remembered learning about an all-knowing,
heavenly father in heaven who loves unconditionally.
And I thought, if anyone can help, can understand me,
then surely it would be him, right?
Well, in middle school, I became saved alone in my bedroom
with the little understanding I had
from reading my Bible in private.
Of course, I would go on struggling
to become closer to Christ,
helping my mother and stepfather in their faith,
all while trying not to crumble myself.
All right, so I told you all the story of the rich man,
right?
You see, the rich man had done everything right,
but did not turn to Christ because of his ties to riches.
My father did not have riches, but did everything wrong
and was tied to his ways.
Neither of them truly turned and followed Christ.
However, what I learned in my walk with God
is that we all have a choice.
Like the rich man and my father,
we can choose to turn away from God
because we're tied to something that holds us back.
But we can also choose to run into Jesus's arms.
See, I believe we go through trials for a reason.
And in every trial, there's the choice to choose Christ
or choose stagnancy.
We all will go through things that crush our spirits.
We all will face devastating times.
However, we can all choose Christ, and when we do,
we can see the light at the end because we will have hope.
And even when you stumble or turn away,
it's never too late to choose him.
Of course, I did have the support of friends,
family, even counseling.
God never once says you have to walk alone.
Regardless, in the year of 2015, I called my father
and told him that I forgave him.
It was hard, but I didn't do it for him.
I did it for me because I want to choose God
in everything that I do, even if it's forgiving a grudge
to prevent it from hurting my spirit.
I'm not saying you all should do something like this,
but I do desire for you all to choose Christ.
Now, I do not know your stories.
I do not know what everyone in this room has been through
or what your lives have been like.
But what I do know is that God is good.
In the midst of adversity, he is good.
In the midst of joy, he is good.
He is the creator of everything and is the almighty.
So please do not turn away from him
because of a tie to something holding you back,
lust, wealth, insecurities, even trauma.
He is so much better than anything you can ever imagine.
And he loves us so, so much.
It may not feel like it at certain times,
but I promise you all he does,
even if his love is hard to see in the dark.
I hope that by hearing my story, I can remind you
that God is here, God sees you, and God loves you.
Would you join me for the Lord's Prayer?
Our Father, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.
Amen.
You are dismissed.
(applause)